It Didn't Start with You

How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

By: Mark Wolynn

Narrated by: Mark Wolynn

Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins

Publisher's summary

A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field.

Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experiences or in chemical imbalances in our brains - but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited: that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations.

It Didn't Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.

As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over 20 years. It Didn't Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn't Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that, in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2016 Mark Wolynn (P)2016 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

"Mark Wolynn does a masterful job of illuminating the ways in which our ancestors' unresolved suffering, often unknown to us, disables us and binds us painfully to them. He gives us the tools and skills - an approach that combines understanding, imaginative dialogues, and compassionate reconnection - to free and heal ourselves." (James S. Gordon, MD, author of Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey out of Depression)

" It Didn't Start with You takes us a big step forward, advancing the fields of trauma therapy, mindfulness applications, and human understanding. It is a bold, creative, and compassionate work." (Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness)

"This groundbreaking book offers a compelling understanding of inherited trauma and fresh, powerful tools for relieving its suffering. Mark Wolynn is a wise and trustworthy guide on the journey toward healing." (Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge)

trigger warning for trauma survivors

great book, take with a grain of salt if you were abused during your childhood. I was physically and emotionally abused and it was hard to consistently hear that I need to forgive my parents. I found myself feeling like this book was more geared towards people who were slightly neglected/didn't get things they needed, not really people who were abused.
I still got a lot out of the book and was still able to gain a greater understanding of where my parents were coming from.

Lovely book if your ready to take huge step towards the great life you deserve!

This book found me after my first family constalation workshop, I really wanted to learn more and I personally took huge step forward in my own journey while reading it. I enjoyed the book from the beginning till end, with all of the exercises which were very useful. I would recommend it to anyone who is ready to dig deeper into her or his own well being. Enjoy it, you will not regret it!

Good stuff

This made me thing about things differently than before--this is why I read. To be able to see things and think about them differently.

Incomplete on Audible

There are a few words and portions of the book not included in the audible version. The word “slavery” was skipped and an entire excerpt that stood out to me was April’s story on pages 125-126. If you are BIPOC this story is mostly relevant to you.

Only 1 concern!

Depending upon your background, some of the described practices of speaking to deceased ancestors may be offputting. Outside of that, this book is extremely insightful and helped me make some connections concerning my behavior patterns. If you have a family, hope to have a family, have a pulse, or a career in which you serve people in any way, especially children and ESPECIALLY children of minority/disadvantaged populations, this book will give you a new depth of compassion for others and for yourself! Renewing the mind is one major key to walking in freedom and obtaining the promises of God!

insightful

Epigenetics comes to mind. identifying core language is the key to healing. Examples sometimes simplistic.

Dr. Knight Highly Recommends

My doctorate is in clinical neuropsychology. I read a LOT, lots of research, lots of self-help theories and books. This may be hands down the most powerful book I’ve ever read and have been recommending it left and right! Wow! Bravo to Mark Wolynn! Impossible not to heal in some way from this!

One of my favorite books

This has been one of the best books on healing I have encountered so far.

Just what I needed.

I love this book.
Thorough, insightful. The author brought to light how our deepest fears may be us subconsciously carrying the burdens of those before us in our family.
I'll definately listen again to complete the exercises in the accompanying PDF.

Phenomenal...Life Changing

This book connected so many dots for me, I often felt the burden of my Father's life including his disappointments. In a very understandable way how we are connected to our ancestors life and legacy is fully layed out. Thank you for this amazing information.