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Bless Your Heart
- Narrated by: Stephanie Németh-Parker
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
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Publisher's summary
A crackling mystery-horror novel with big-hearted characters and Southern charm with a bite, Bless Your Heart is a gasp-worthy delight from start to finish from debut author Lindy Ryan.
Rise and shine. The Evans women have some undead to kill.
It’s 1999 in Southeast Texas and the Evans women, owners of the only funeral parlor in town, are keeping steady with…normal business. The dead die, you bury them. End of story. That’s how Ducey Evans has done it for the last eighty years, and her progeny—Lenore the experimenter and Grace, Lenore’s soft-hearted daughter, have run Evans Funeral Parlor for the last fifteen years without drama. Ever since That Godawful Mess that left two bodies in the ground and Grace raising her infant daughter Luna, alone.
But when town gossip Mina Jean Murphy’s body is brought in for a regular burial and she rises from the dead instead, it’s clear that the Strigoi—the original vampire—are back. And the Evans women are the ones who need to fight back to protect their town.
As more folks in town turn up dead and Deputy Roger Taylor begins asking way too many questions, Ducey, Lenore, Grace, and now Luna, must take up their blades and figure out who is behind the Strigoi’s return. As the saying goes, what rises up, must go back down. But as unspoken secrets and revelations spill from the past into the present, the Evans family must face that sometimes, the dead aren’t the only things you want to keep buried.
A crackling mystery-horror novel with big-hearted characters and Southern charm with a bite, Bless Your Heart is a gasp-worthy delight from start to finish.
"A gloriously gruesome, compulsively readable debut that is as grizzly as it is clever and heartfelt."—Rachel Harrison
A Macmillan Audio production from Minotaur Books.
Critic reviews
“Such a brilliant blend of banter and dread. Authored with the confidence of a storyteller who knows every inch, cadence, and beat of their tale. Instantly cinematic. And if you’re anything like me, you’re going to wish you were part of the Evans family, working at the Evans Funeral Home, just so you can spend more time with these people. Lindy Ryan is on fire with this book.” (Josh Malerman, New York Times bestselling author of Bird Box and Daphne)
"The Evans women have arrived and these Southern belle slayers are carving out a spot in our undead hearts. Lindy Ryan has harnessed the charm and horror of a Romero-helmed Steel Magnolias, equal parts Carson McCullers and Bram Stoker. Bless her heart." (Clay McLeod Chapman, author of Ghost Eaters)
"Lindy Ryan is among the most electrifying voices in the horror genre today. Her writing is devastating, beautiful, and horrifying in all the best ways. With her new novel, she's created a group of characters you won't ever forget set in a world that's sure to get under your skin. Bless Your Heart is everything you could want in a horror novel and more. Highly recommended." (Gwendolyn Kiste, Three-time Bram Stoker Awards®-winning author of The Rust Maidens and Reluctant Immortals)
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- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley, Max Roll
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
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Jane Austen fan Amelia Bennett sneaks away from a dull tour of an English country manor, only to run into a man more dashing than Mr. Darcy himself. About to lose his ancestral home to family debts, charming aristocrat Tom Calder invites his American guest to join him in drinking his way through the estate’s priceless wine collection. But when they wake in his bed the next morning, they’re convinced that in their drunken haze they witnessed a murder. Problem is, the body has vanished and no one believes them.
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Fun rom-com mystery
- By C. Wright on 03-01-24
By: Brynn Kelly
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Dietrich
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 11 mins
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It’s the summer of ’77 in New York City, and the only thing more unnerving than the scorching heatwave is the rampant murder, leaving washed-up homicide detective Richard Dietrich on edge. When Dietrich investigates a brutal mob hit the brass doesn’t want him to solve, he goes from phoning it in to getting in over his head. Caught up in a mysterious second homicide with an even more perplexing perpetrator, Dietrich starts to second guess his instincts—and his memory—as he searches for answers at the bottom of a bottle.
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Haunting ending
- By Shirley Anderson on 04-21-24
By: Don Winslow
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Bluebeard
- By: Jim Clemente, Peter McDonnell
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In 1919, Kathryn Wombacher finds a lonely-hearts ad placed by one Walter Andrew: "Would be pleased to correspond with a refined young lady or widow. Object, matrimony.” Kathryn and Walter fall in love and marry within weeks. What Kathryn doesn’t know...is that her new husband is really James “Bluebeard” Watson, a notorious West Coast serial killer who catfished and married 22 women, murdering 10.
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Performances
- By HappyMom on 05-24-24
By: Jim Clemente, and others
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Oregon
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
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It was 1970 in a defeated Rhode Island fishing town. Vietnam and Nixon dominated the national news. Both the near and distant future looked bleak. But they were five inseparable high school friends with something incredible in common: an unwavering resolve to look after each other no matter what hell life threw at them. And they were on a mission. The plan was simple: Go off the grid before they turned 18 to avoid the draft. They’d sell some grass, stack some cash, then head west and start a commune. What could possibly go wrong?
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This really hit home.
- By Ray Beaulieu on 05-26-24
By: Don Winslow
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The Justice
- By: James Patterson, Aaron Cooley
- Narrated by: Sanaa Lathan, David Rasche, Susan Kelechi Watson, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Justice Beth Garner (Sanaa Lathan) just landed the appointment of a lifetime—a seat on the Supreme Court. Now a mysterious company is blackmailing her for her vote on a landmark case. Caught up in the checkered past of her hero and mentor, Chief Justice Clayton Erlenborn, Beth must cunningly maneuver through a dangerous web of secrets, deception, and cold-blooded murder. Armed with only her moral compass and unflinching nerve, she’s up against a sinister world full of undercover agents, domestic terrorists, and black ops assassins—all of whom want her to comply or die.
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One of the best
- By Jackie on 02-25-24
By: James Patterson, and others
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Too Late
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- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Ryan Gray, Maxine Mitchell, Joe Arden
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
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Sloan will go through hell and back for those she loves. And she does so, every single day. Caught up with the alluring Asa Jackson, a notorious drug trafficker, Sloan has finally found a lifeline to cling to, even if it’s meant compromising her morals. She was in dire straits trying to pay for her brother’s care until she met Asa. But as Sloan became emotionally and economically reliant on him, he in turn developed a disturbing obsession with her—one that becomes increasingly dangerous every day.
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Triggering and poor narration
- By Katherine Epperson on 07-11-23
By: Colleen Hoover
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One of Us Is Dead
- By: Jeneva Rose
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt, Hillary Huber, Elizabeth Evans, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
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Opulence. Sex. Betrayal…sometimes friendship can be deadly. Meet the women of Buckhead—a place of expensive cars, huge houses, and competitive friendships. Who amongst these women will be clever enough to survive Buckhead—and who will wind up dead? They say that friendships can be complex, but no one said it could ever be this deadly.
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Great mystery. Sexually graphic.
- By Sue on 09-04-22
By: Jeneva Rose
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Hector Santinio is the younger son of Alejo and Mercedes, who moved to New York from Cuba in the mid-1940s. The family of four shares their modest apartment with extended relatives in Harlem, where homesickness and nostalgia are dispelled by nights of dancing and raucous parties. But life’s realities are nevertheless harsh in the Santinio family’s adoptive land.
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There are infinite universes in which Elise never dies. Her best friend, Anna, never has to mourn her or choose between the weight of her grief and the weight of her ambition. Her cousin, Liam, never has to lose another loved one or fight to find purpose in a life that already doesn’t feel like his own. But Liam and Anna do not get to choose the universe in which they live. Across multiple worlds, their paths collide as they wrestle with what it takes to save someone else and how to face love and loss on a quantum scale.
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What listeners say about Bless Your Heart
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Heather L.
- 05-27-24
Creepy summer listen. I loved it!
I highly recommend! It’s funny, sassy, a little creepy, with some mystery, and a twist. Too fun!
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- Lisa M.
- 05-27-24
The beginning of a fun saga
Fun story, well written and very well read. I could see every character and look forward to more adventures with these strong, smart and courageous women.
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- Kia
- 05-20-24
Fantastic experience!
Really loved this book, and the production of the audio book was done really well. Highly recommend!
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- Andrea Dethmers
- 04-19-24
Loved this book!
Never thought a book about dark creatures could also be so funny and emotional. I loved the bond the family had and how the characters all interacted with one another.
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-30-24
Like true blood meets practical magic
I usually hate fun reads. Like I love a super long heavy plot but this book was just sooooo good. The narrater deserves an award and all the characters were interesting and compelling. I want more
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- M
- 05-19-24
I can't wait for the next one!
This book follows Luna through being a teenager in the 1990s. Her family is a little odd but they stick together and run the town's funeral parlor. I need the next in the series asap.
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- Jamie Toepel
- 05-15-24
Bless y’all’s heart!
What a fantastic debut! This story is unique and feels classic at the same time! 4 generations of Texas women run a small town funeral home, where they “take care of” the restless dead! It made me laugh, it made me cry! Fantastic narration! Highly recommend!
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- L. Garcia
- 05-03-24
Fast read, fun mystery
Good storyline, well developed characters and good twist. Listened to it in three days! Looking forward to the next book.
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