I purchased this eBook, because I needed to hear Judy’s voice as she recalled her own words.
I too have a son and he is gay. I have lived as a lesbian and now as a trans masculine human ‘being.’
Judy, your words struck me throughout. I once lived in Casper and worked for a short time for KCWY-TV. I know of the winds you spoke of.
I live in the mountains of Colorado (Georgetown, CO).
I was struck that you shared you were a Job’s Daughter (Patience, Faith, Reward). What I learned from those words from the time I was twelve to the time of receiving my majority at eighteen have never left me.
During times of hate (yes, I have been called creepy by members of my synagogue and was Torah thumped by my own rabbi, has taught me to see the spark of the divine in everyone; including those whose cruelty toward made me feel like I needed a bag over my head. When I met with the rabbi and one woman that shamed me in front of the congregation, I was given the message that if I didn’t look the way I did, no one would make fun of me to my face. I asked them how a blind person would see me? Not for my tattoos or changing body; but for how I treated people. I have always looked someone in their eyes to see their soul, not their hairstyle, tattoos, style of dress, what kind of cars they drive or how big of a house they have.
Near the end of our meeting, I explained that how I dress, what bathroom I decide on, is about me; not to make anyone else feel better.
I explained that my tattoos were my form of cutting and it was either doing that, or taking my own life.
My adopted mom gave me one dollar and her contempt when she died. It was to write me out of her life and Will. The dollar was so I would not contest anything. I didn’t want money, I wanted her acceptance.
The last thing I said during my meeting with my rabbi and the one congregant was this, ‘This is exactly why I love dogs more than people. Dogs have never treated me the way people have.’
I have an identical twin. She is heterosexual and it pains her that I have never been prissy and had the desire to play house while growing up or wanting to do as she and our mom wanted. Our adult life have been bouts of her going away for decades at a time. She just couldn’t handle how I was living. In 2023 I had to go away. She lives in Florida and stated that what Gov. DeSantis was doing was not about me and what was happening in Florida would not affect me in Colorado. At the time, the Gov. Polard (a Governor that was also a gay man), made Colorado a sanctuary State for transgender people. I knew the ‘Don’t say Gay,’ the book bans, and Drag Queen laws would cause other States to do the same. Even if I wanted to go to Florida to see my twin ever again, I risked being arrested for whatever bathroom I used. I knew I risked being denighed treatment if I had a medical emergency.
The work you, your husband, and the Matthew Shepard Goundation is doing is saving lives.
A few years ago I went to a fundraising dinner in Denver for the Matthew Shepard Foundation. I met you and your husband. There were so many people. I thanked you for the work you are doing to repair the world one person and moment at a time.
G-d bless you for your strength, dedication, and abilities to do what you are doing for the LGBTQI+ communities. I know that during tough times you are saying, ‘Patience, Faith, Reward.’
Anshel Bomberger,
Georgetown, CO